Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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