i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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