Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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