yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
your parents love me but you hate me
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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