We won't sleep together?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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