I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
