my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
