he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
