New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
porn star boner night. come get it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
