i already hear my dad disowning me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
