do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
