So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
