Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize