I hate your face
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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