lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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