Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
