I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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