And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I understand Curling. That high.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize