Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
