Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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