Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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