I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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