Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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