P.S. I can't hear my feet
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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