Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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