He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize