ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
