I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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