If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
