I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
