Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
