he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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