she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
