Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize