Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
