I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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