When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
