just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
