Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
