Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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