you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
