So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
