oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
