Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
