Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i barfeds in our rink
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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