We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
