hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
