I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
