Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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