Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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