I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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