For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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