he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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