He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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