I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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