No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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