Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
