Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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