garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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