You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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