I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
