Whoa Z and x make the same sound
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
